Bye Bye 2015

I've been trying to write this all day. I've started. I've stopped. I've started again. I sat and reflected on the year. I cried. Then I laughed. And I got angry. I worried. That my friends, sums up this year in a nutshell. 2015 has been unlike any year I've encountered. I'm so done with it.

There were some good moments - it certainly wasn't all bad. My Mom completed her cancer treatments and so far is in the clear a little over a year after her diagnosis and surgery. That's a huge win and a relief. I also had some random moments of pure happiness. Like staying at a friend's house and while lying in bed, hearing a train in the distance as I listened to the rain on the roof (some of my favourite things and places all happening at once). Or laughing uncontrollably until my sides hurt at a malfunctioning parking door at a Banff hotel. It wasn't that funny. But oh did we laugh. I made a couple of great new friends and reconnected with an old one. I was also on the receiving end of a couple of acts of kindness that seemed to come at just the right time. These and the other highlights of the year (hey I turned 40!) have really helped me get through things.

But for the most part, this year was really tough. Loss was the biggest theme for me in 2015. Sadly and frustratingly, I managed to cover this off in a lot of life’s categories. Some losses were major. Some minor. Put all together it just felt like I was constantly being hit with stuff and couldn’t stop to catch my breath, or really seek shelter. One thing after another. Death (a person and a pet). Major home expenses. Loss of friendships. Job Loss. Twice. Family illness. More than a few encounters with people who completely lacked compassion and kindness when it mattered most. Disappointment. Misunderstanding. Bad dates. Financial stress. A lot of uncertainty. In short, it was an asshole of a year.

People keep telling me next year will be my year. I hope so because quite frankly I'm tired. It actually doesn't have to be "my year". I'd be happy with a moderately better year. I am probably one of the most positive, resilient people out there and 2015 has tested me more than any other. While I do have some good people in my world rooting for me, I'm carrying most of this on my own. And sometimes it's kind of heavy.

I'm excited about 2016. I'm also a little scared. I feel like I'm going into some kind of uncharted territory, a new adventure. I think I'm ready, I know I am capable, but I also know enough to know you are never completely prepared for what comes along the way. I have put my big girl pants on, I have a plan and I'm charging forward. But not before I give 2015 one last kick in the shins for good measure on its way out. 

Where's Lauren?

*waves*

I'm over here.

I've been absent awhile. I know. I have about 3-4 blog posts on a range of topics half written, waiting for me to be inspired to finish them. That inspiration has been buried under an avalanche of curveballs that seem to continue to be sent my way. I have high hopes for 2016 because I am SO done with this year.

I recently have gone through my second job loss this year, and this time around Calgary's economy is further in the toilet than it was in June, by a long shot. In fact I think in many regards, someone has flushed the toilet and closed the lid. It's both terrifying and motivating depending on the day or even time of day you ask me.

I'm looking for work: something that is the right fit and gets me excited. At the same time, I'm also working to build up my business, Write.Brand.Image. I'm fortunate that I already have a few small projects to work on, although I know I will need to increase that a lot more to be able to stay afloat. I've thought about relocation but I am just not sure I am ready for that yet. For now I'm going to concentrate on growing my business and considering all the options out there.

There are a lot of people here out of work. Thousands and thousands of workers (120,000 ish?) at all levels, across the province. Suicide is up 30% this year. Engineers, project managers, administrative assistants, oilfield workers, trades. I made the mistake of reading "the comments" on a few articles on the subject of layoffs and our economy. There is a sentiment out there that Calgarians somehow deserved this; that so many of us "oil workers" have not planned for a rainy day and have been living beyond our means (so not true on many levels). Many of the unemployed aren't even oil and gas workers (me!) but the trickle down effect is already well underway.

There is also this comment section notion that many of the unemployed should go and work in retail or fast food jut to have some money coming in. From what I've heard though, the service industry isn't wanting to hirer many of those out of work 'office types" because they know many won't stay in those roles. It's true. Frustrating for all, but true. In the office world, there are a fair number of really junior roles being posted for probably half or a third of what people were making a year ago. Even those with extensive experience willing to work at reduced rates are not getting hired, probably for the same reason they can't get the service industry jobs. It's no wonder people are feeling less than positive.

In my case, I've been a bit overwhelmed by the generosity and kind, motivating and constructively helpful words several people have sent my way over the last few weeks. I had a couple of pretty low points but because of these caring folks, I've rallied back and feel I'm in the best position to move forward and kick some butt in 2016.

As a public service announcement, if you know people who are struggling with job loss or looming job loss, reach out and say hello to them. Listen. Don't try to fix their problems because you probably can't. Avoid the cliches like "everything happens for a reason..." and "this will make you so much stronger" or "at least xxxx hasn't happened to you" or "lots of other people are unemployed too". Encourage but don't over cheerlead. Buy them a coffee. Offer them a brief distraction. Invite them for dinner. Do things that give them hope and help them see real options. Offer specific help like watching their kids or pets or giving them a ride somewhere because they probably won't want to ask for help. Let them know you are thinking about them. And, again, listen.