List Item #28 is a No-Go

One of my more attainable list items, #28 (hit the 25 blood donations mark) is pretty near and dear to my heart. Donating blood was something I meant to do for a very long time - probably 15 years - before I actually got around to doing it. I knew it was important and can help a lot of people. It just never seemed to make it to the top of my list of things to do, or when presented with an opportunity, I didn't have my ID with me. Excuses excuses, I know. But i eventually started and it became a regular, every 56ish days weekend activity for me - aside from the slight hiatus of a year or so I had to take to when I was being tested to donate the kidney.

My dad had been one of those lucky people to benefit from blood donation when he was going through cancer chemo and radiation in the mid 90's. I know the generous donations from a lot of people meant that he could get the treatments he needed to not only feel better, but spend more time with us (we knew his time with us was limited which made it all that more important). Fast forward 18 or so years and my mom received blood during cancer related surgery. While I would do it anyway because its good to help people when you can, it becomes all that more meaningful when someone you love needs blood, and you can help repay the favour.

Canadian Blood Services gives you a donor card when you start donating. Mine is kinda basic, not too attractive. But when you hit 25 donations, they send you a new, pretty card with "25" incorporated into the design. I've admired this card for at least the last 12 of my now 21 donations (they have a display at the donation centre) and was really looking forward to earning it this year. I know, its not about the card. But I was working towards it the way a Girl Guide works towards badges or you strive for a certain badge in a social media app. It was so close I could practically feel the shiny plastic in my hand. But alas, its not going to happen.

Over the weekend I was diagnosed with a superficial leg blood clot. No big deal, unless you are the girl who was diagnosed with a random, unexplained pulmonary embolism (lung blood clot) in 2013. What this means is that there is a 99% chance that I will be on blood thinners for the rest of my life. Which excludes me from being a blood donor. And I am super sad about it.

Don't get me wrong. I am happy I am realtively healthy and not in any imminent danger of a pulmonary embolism - because those are bad, bad things. I appreciate my health is more important than giving blood. And yes, I also was able to donate a kidney which not everyone gets to do either (it would be really awesome in Canadian Blood Services gave blood donation credits for kidney donations but sadly they don't). I'm just disappointed I can't continue to do this because its important to me for a million reasons, beyond the magic card and the fact its on "the list".

I haven't decided yet if I'll replace this list item or just leave it as is just to remind people donating blood is a good thing to do, if they haven't in awhile, or ever (try it kids! they have cookies!). As for the blood clots, being a medical mutant has it privileges and there is an internal medicine doctor at my closest hospital who heard about my situation and would like to see if she can figure out why I'm getting clots with no obvious clotting disorder, health problems or risk factors. Here's hoping!

Giving Tuesday - Kidney Edition

It's "Giving Tuesday", so I cant think of a better thing to talk about than kidney donors.

A few months ago I got an email from a lady named Sarah in the US who had found my blog (the kidney one, not this one). She wanted to reach out as she was in the process of being tested to be a living kidney donor and she wanted to know if she could ask me some questions. We emailed back and forth and eventually became Facebook friends. Yesterday, she donated as part of a six person chain for a lady in Illinois who had been waiting for a kidney since 2008. I exchanged a few messages with her today - she's doing well and is very upbeat. Go Sarah!

Watching Sarah go through the process (from the sidelines, via email and Facebook) really took me back to when I donated. A lot of the initial testing I went through alone, but about a month or two before I donated, I found two people on-line who really helped me cross that finish line in the process. Jody was local and had tested in Calgary to be a non directed donor - her operation ended up being in Saskatoon. The other lady I connected with was Angela. She lived in upstate NY and had also donated anonymously that year. Both of the ladies offered great information that I certainly used before and after the surgery. They definitely made the process better for me because they shared they stuff that doctors don't think of, from personal hygiene tips to what to bring to the hospital. It gave me comfort to know I had two strangers who had been through the experience cheering me on from their corners of the world.

Living donors are a strong willed, determined bunch. We are pretty resilient and roll with things well. Every living donor I have met has a feisty independent streak in them - that's for sure. I truly believe all the donors I know could have donated without the email buddies, Facebook friends and on-line information groups. But the fact that we had access to these wonderful other donors to use as a resource, most of whom became friends as well - I think that made for a richer, more positive experience. It has made me happy that I can pay it forward when people like Sarah have connected with me. When I first signed up for this, I thought I was just giving a kidney. I didn't have a clue that it would become such a big part of my life and bring so many awesome people into my life, even years later.

This time last year, when I told my kidney story on CBC Radio's Definitely Not the Opera (DNTO), I had another lady reach out to talk about kidney donation. She had often thought about donating - when she heard my story it was a catalyst for her to contact her local transplant centre to start the process. We emailed back and forth as she had questions along the way. Yesterday, it occurred to me I hadn't heard from her in awhile so I sent her a note to check in. As it turns out, donating isn't right for her right now. She apologized for wasting my time with so many questions. But here's the thing - it wasn't a waste. She made more of an effort towards donating, or simply even just thinking of helping another person, than many people do in their lifetime. She took the time to educate herself about the process and in turn, shared that knowledge with others in her life. Donating is not for everyone for a variety of reasons and that is okay. The point is she tried and also talked about it - that makes a difference. As a nurse at her centre said, only about 1 and 5 people who go through testing donate - and that includes people who have family members in need.

She ended her email with an interesting and very honest question (which I appreciated):

"Now that you know I'm not doing it.... I am just wondering, do you honestly have no regrets? Or do you just try to stay upbeat to encourage other people? Do you ever worry about the long-term effects? I have really admired your attitude this whole time, and it shows in your blog... but I always wondered, how do you not worry at all?"

I honestly don't have regrets. I know I made the right choice for me. The bulk of the risks are behind me (surgery, complications post surgery) and now all I need to do is focus on staying healthy by eating in moderation, exercising and just taking care of myself they way we all should, regardless of kidney count. The fact is there is a lot about our health we can't control and none of us are guaranteed a long, perfectly healthy life. I do my best to control what I can, where and when I can. I do worry about a lot of things (money, my pets, friends, family, whether or not the cream in my fridge will still be good for my weekend coffee) but to be completely honest, my remaining kidney never makes the list.

I could also not ever regret a decision that has made me more confident, stronger and more aware of who I am and what is important to me. The "kidney thing" as I affectionately call it was a real turning point for me and I wouldn't change that for the world. I have also met so many wonderful people - from surgeons to nurses to donors to recipient and even the "almost donors" - who continue to inspire me everyday. I'm really lucky that I had this opportunity to go  through something like this. I appreciate not everyone does. And I hope I continue to meet new people along the way who are thinking about becoming donors - and that in some small way, I can help them along the way.