What Makes You Happy?

 This is the year quite a few of my friends are also rolling the odometer into the 40s. Most seem to be handling it pretty well (at least on the surface anyway) and are looking forward to what lies ahead in this new, uncharted era of our lives.

I do share that optimism - really. And I'm not overly concerned about the physical aging. Sure, my boobs could be a little more perky and every once in awhile I notice tiny wrinkles that are attempting to set up residence on my face. Otherwise though I think I'm doing relatively well from a physical perspective.

A good friend of mine (who just a couple of weeks ago hit 40) and I have spent a lot of time in the last six months worrying more about turning the big 4-0 in relation to the "happy factor". Are we making the best life choices? Are we doing what we love, or at least something that makes us happy. I think the fact that we are still having this conversation probably indicates that the answer is "no" to all of those questions. We seem to keep looking around wondering "Where am I and how the heck did I get here?"

It's not to say that we are dreadfully unhappy in our lives. We do okay, we have careers that other people look at and think "Well they are doing alright." We have places to live, cars to drive and other nice material things. We have people that we care about and they care about us. We are relatively healthy. But something is missing. Or several things are (maybe). My aforementioned friend summed it up well recently when he said: "I didn't think things would be this hard. But they really are."

I think our (my) problem is that we have lots sight of what makes us happy. Not content, but happy; that excited, passionate, heal-clicking kind of glee. The really good happy stuff that drives you to dream and believe anything is possible. Where you feel like you are contributing and really doing something that matters. I need to find that again. I've had rare, fleeting glimpses in the last few weeks so I think I'm hopefully on the right path to getting there. I need to re-discover what I'm good at, what I love and what I need. And then figure out how to not lose it again.

Is this what a mid-life crisis looks like? I have no idea - I'm new at this.