Losing a List Item

I think if you know me at all, you know I haven't exactly been fond of the way some areas of my life have been over the last while (okay, mostly all of them). But I do have some good news - I've lost 10 pounds!

I believe this was list item #38 at some point anyway. Which I kind of forgot about until last week when I knew I was approaching the 10 lbs mark. So yay for a list item being done!

Now before you start to worry about the weight loss being stress related - it isn't. I've been working hard at it. I didn't think I was overweight, although I thought losing a little couldn't hurt. More importantly, I was getting into a bit of fitness rut (along with all my other ruts - ha!) I wanted to change things up so I did two things - I got a FitBit to track steps and I joined a gym.

The FitBit (which I got through Airmiles for 'free') allows me to track my daily steps, set goals and even compete against my friends for most steps. It allows you to also set sleep goals, track food intake and exercise. Oh and water intake. Which I am terrible at. Still.

I've had it about a month. I've already had several people, including a very old friend as well as a brand new one suggest that it may not be the best thing for me as it seems to bring out an OCD streak in me. That's partially true (can you be partially OCD?) but right now I think it's still in the healthy range. It motivates me to walk at lunch at work, walk the dogs at night and make sure I get my workouts in. When you live alone (or with a Zoo), no one holds you accountable for anything (except kibble in their dishes). Having this helps me stay focused and aware of my fitness goals and plans.

As mentioned, I also joined a gym. There will likely soon be a post about the gym practices itself and some questionable customer service I've experienced there. However long story short, I am enjoying having a place to go to use different equipment and try different things, even if their staff have some questionable human interaction and sales skills.

How did I get here? About 5 years ago right around now I was in the final stages of being tested to be a kidney donor. While I knew I wasn't overly fit, I didn't think I was way out of shape. I met one doctor on the team of evaluators that suggested I might want to "do what I can" to be in the best health I can be going into surgery, should I be approved. In hindsight, she was referring to my weight. I wasn't over the top weight they'd take, but I was pretty close. I remember being weighed for one of the appointments. They weigh you in kilograms and that is fairly meaningless to me. I Googled what my weight was in pounds when the appointment was over. OMG. I was pretty darn close to 200 lbs. I was mortified. I wasn't sure how I had let me weight creep up like that. I was embarrassed and disgusted with myself. Shortly thereafter, I bought a Groupon for a bootcamp being held in a community centre across the city. Even though I was nervous (terrified) of starting a new program with new people, I tried it. And I kept going back. At first just once a week, up to eventually three times. After I donated a couple of months later, I started going again around 5 weeks (being careful about what I did as to not hurt the surgery site). I lost about 10-15 pounds but didn't do the best job of  keeping it all off (although I kept some of it off).

In February 2013 I developed a blood clot somewhere (they still are confused about the where) and some of it went to my lung, which can be fatal.  It was 2am on Valentine's Day morning when they got the scan results. I remember being afraid initially that my poor mom was going to have to possibly lose someone else on Valentines Day (my dad died on Valentine's Day in 1996) or at the very least be worried about that. I was lucky though and walked out of the hospital on a boatload of blood thinners. What I took from that moment is that there is so much we can't control about our bodies; I needed to control what I could and make some changes, starting with my weight (that had nothing to do with the clot for the record - but it was an obvious change I could make).

Over the next few months I started exercising 3-5 days a week. I joined Weight Watchers. I gradually lost 30 lbs. And I have kept 20-25 of that off for the past three years. However this last 6 months I know I haven't been doing my best to stay healthy. Or at least its felt that way. While I had still been exercising at home, I needed something new to push me harder, stop me from backsliding and drop my weight a little more. So here we are.

I've set a goal of 20 lbs total, for now. I've actually lost 11 so I have 9 to go. I will be rewarding myself with a new sweatshirt/jacket I've wanted awhile that is overpriced but will last me a long time and replace on I have that is on its last legs. I will likely need to save awhile to get it or sell one of the dogs (lol) but it's a good thing for me to shoot for. When I hit the goal I'll weigh 15 lbs more than I did when I was 19/20. I don't want to get that low because I wasn't particularly healthy then - my nutrition was not good and I worked out too much doing the wrong things. I think my new goal is realistic and attainable and most importantly, healthy.

There is a lot in my life right now I can't control and it is driving me crazy. But my fitness, nutrition and weight I can. Working out also lowers my stress and provides hours of people watching entertainment (like the girl FaceTiming on the elliptical this afternoon, or the man with arms so overdeveloped he couldn't really operate the water fountain). It feels good to be able to focus and see results - the more I try, the better I do. And right now I really need that.