Dating and the "Problem" with Being Single

Where to begin. I've been somewhat single for a little over a year. In September of 2013, the 6+ year relationship I was in ended and I found myself starting over with my "zoo" in tow. I briefly dated an older guy I had met through work. Around the time that phased itself out, I needed to find a new place to live (my landlord was selling) and I decided to look into buying my own place. Over the course of the summer I found a great home and moved in. Needless to say, much of my summer was focused on moving - it takes a lot of time and effort.

September rolled around and I thought I might like to see what is out there in the dating world. I signed up for a couple of different sites - one a paid, more "quality" site with people who really seemed to want to find "the one" and another cheap and cheerful site where you had a range of people looking for a range of things, from marriage to random hook ups (read: insta-sex)

I've encountered a lot of weirdos. And some nice people. I've had more than enough unsolicited naked pictures sent (Men: Your "bits" are not photogenic. Just stop!). I've had some good conversations, a couple of coffee dates and a few dinners. I haven't met anyone that I feel a spark with or have enough in common with to move forward.

So for now I am not going to actively pursue these sites anymore, at least for awhile. Which I am totally okay with. The back and forth and questionable people you need to wade through are exhausting. While it would be nice to have a guy to go to dinner with or a movie, I am perfectly happy being by myself. I am not sitting home along being bored. My life is busy. I have good friends. I exercise a few times a week. I walk the hounds. I don't need someone to fill up time. I don't have to have a date (contrary to popular opinion) for the Holiday Party. If the right person comes along, then great. Otherwise I will keep on doing what I am doing.

We live in a world where people being single after a certain age is almost like an illness or problem other people feel like they need to fix for you. It's not. There is nothing wrong with me. I am happy. I have a lot of happily coupled friends and that is fantastic. But I wouldn't think any less of them if they were single. They aren't my friends because they are part of a couple. And I don't feel like I need to make unsolicited suggestions to them on how they could do better in their relationships, how they could be more content etc. Live and let live!

The other thing I've noticed about being single is that many people equate "standards" as well as likes and dislikes when it comes to a potential partner, with the single person being too picky, or worse "jaded and bitter". Often without even knowing what your standards are. I'm not looking for a 6'2 perfectly fit man who makes $150K a year and drives a silver BMW, hates French toast and likes kittens. I have some flexibility. However I am not going to settle for someone who I am not attracted to, isn't clever and doesn't share the same values as me. We should probably have a few interests in common. And he probably does need to like kittens (cats) and dogs. Not wanting to settle doesn't make a person jaded or bitter. It means you understand and know what you want (and don't want) and are prepared to be honest about it.

Being single isn't a problem. I have a great job a nice home, friends, a lovely family and of course  my zoo. I don't need another person to complete me and I don't need sympathy for my relationship status. Dating should be fun and when it isn't, taking a break is okay too.

And thats all I have to say about that :)