Dating as a Kidney Donor

In 2011, I donated a kidney to a stranger. This isn't a big secret and a lot of people know about it.

The tricky part is when I do meet new people, especially in the dating world. It's not something I throw out there, gratuitously, right away, but it often comes up early on. How? Well one guy knew my last name so he Googled me ahead of time and read about it online. Another guy asked if I've ever been on television - I have...and guess why? Kidney donation. Another guy was talking about how awesome energy drinks can be. This lead to me saying how terrible they are for you (and by no means am I a health nut but come on!). It started a conversation about how much we read or don't read labels. I explained that I'm careful about a lot of drinks and medications because I have one kidney and need to protect it. He asked where the other one went. Can of worms opened.

I have a few donor friends that have found that dating after donation comes with its own special elements. One friend told me that some guys just can't handle it, so she puts it out there early. Its a big oart of who she is and she feels they need to know what. Another lady mentioned to me that a few of her dates seemed uncomfortable with it. She'd wait until later into the dating process to tell them and they'd be quite bothered by it. While of course its their loss (not hers), she did see it as a bit of a dating "handicap". And I'm starting to get that too.

Some people think it makes me some kind of saintly do-gooder (this just cracks me up). Other people think that it makes me "too independent. I'm not really sure what that means, but it's interesting feedback.

It is a big part of who I am, and my journey in life so far. But it's not all that I am in my day to day life. In all the research, conversation and information I received prior to donating, this (oddly) doesn't come up as a potential side effect. Popular wisdom would say that if people can't handle it, I'm better off not knowing them. But that doesn't make the interactions any less awkward in the moment.

It's funny when meeting new people (dates or otherwise) how we can take one piece of info about them and build a whole perception of who they are based on that one thing. We make assumptions about the good, bad and ugly of people based on little tidbits of information. I still haven't decided when the best time to bring up the kidney stuff is - but its always in the back of my mind. I know the "right" person will get it and be okay with it, but in the meantime I may have to kiss a lot of frogs.