When I was 12, my parents (and several of their
neighbourhood friends) turned 40. There was a party circuit for about 18 months
as they and their friends all hit this milestone, possibly middle aged birthday.
“Lordy lordy look who’s 40” buttons were bought. Unfinished basements in the
new subdivision we had all moved into a couple of years earlier were turned
into themed zones like a tropical oasis or a major league baseball stadium.
Forty balloons were delivered to my house for my dad’s birthday – several of
which died an untimely death just two minutes as they hit our fabulous 80’s
stucco ceiling. Ooops.
Here we are, 27(ish) years later and now the first of the “kids”
are starting to hit the same milestone birthday (happy birthday to my stepsister and old friend Aimee). Pardon my French, but where
the fuck did the time go? It seems like just a few years ago we were all
learning to drive or finally being old enough where our real ID got us into
bars. My stepdad has been warning me for at least 15 years that the older you
get, the faster time goes. He sure wasn’t kidding.
It’s interesting to compare where our parents were vs. where
we are at 40. Most of ours were living in their second or third home. Their
kids, as mentioned, were all in their teens or tweens (although that was before
“tween” was an actual thing). They were well established in their careers, likely
at least 10 or so years the same company. Most of their hand-me-down or starter
furniture had been replaced with stuff they actually liked, and it had been
paid for with cash. Most of our families had two cars, but the mom’s generally
drove much crappier used cars that were almost as old as us kids. They made
coffee at home, drank only when they had company over and thought nothing of
buying a frozen lasagnas or cheap meat pies for those busy family nights. Oh
and they all had been married for over 15 years.
And where are we? Well for starters, a lot of us are on our
second or third long term romantic relationship (or single). Most of us aren’t
married in the traditional sense. There are not as many offspring with our
generation, and we had them much later as a rule.
Almost all of us “kids” own a home, although more of us are
in our first home still. Our mortgages are much bigger, even in relative
comparison to our larger salaries. Our homes are filled with more or less new
furniture, shiny appliances and kitchen gadgets that weren’t even on our
mothers’ radars. A lot of which might be paid off, but was bought with credit because we didn’t want to wait to buy it. And the cars? For those of the kids in a “couple” there isn’t as much of a divide (if any) in the value of the automotive each person is driving.
Professionally we are all doing well. We have a lot more post-secondary education under our belts than most of our parents did. And we’ve probably worked at a half dozen different places so far, with at least a few more in our collective futures. Many of us are making more than our parents did before they retired in the last few years. We start our days with $5 lattes at Starbucks (well at least I do). We try to buy organic when we can or at the very least we read labels before putting most items in our grocery carts. We are told to avoid frozen dinners because they aren’t healthy or the right thing to do for our families. Sometimes we listen.
The 40s held a lot of change for the neighbourhood parents. There were a couple of divorces. Sadly a couple of our parents didn’t make it to 50. It wasn’t all doom and gloom though – they got to see us graduate high school and in some cases even move out! (I am pretty sure that is every parent’s secret or not so secret dream), went on dream trips, remodelled homes and bought cottages. The divorced and widowed ones found new relationships and love again when they weren’t sure it would happen.
I have no idea what the next 10 years will hold for us, just as our parents had no idea what was in store for them. As I learned with my 30s, a lot can change in 10 years. We might be in a different place than our parents were when they turned 40, but I think a lot of the challenges and opportunities for us will be the same over the next decade. I also know there is no slowing down time.
mothers’ radars. A lot of which might be paid off, but was bought with credit because we didn’t want to wait to buy it. And the cars? For those of the kids in a “couple” there isn’t as much of a divide (if any) in the value of the automotive each person is driving.
Professionally we are all doing well. We have a lot more post-secondary education under our belts than most of our parents did. And we’ve probably worked at a half dozen different places so far, with at least a few more in our collective futures. Many of us are making more than our parents did before they retired in the last few years. We start our days with $5 lattes at Starbucks (well at least I do). We try to buy organic when we can or at the very least we read labels before putting most items in our grocery carts. We are told to avoid frozen dinners because they aren’t healthy or the right thing to do for our families. Sometimes we listen.
The 40s held a lot of change for the neighbourhood parents. There were a couple of divorces. Sadly a couple of our parents didn’t make it to 50. It wasn’t all doom and gloom though – they got to see us graduate high school and in some cases even move out! (I am pretty sure that is every parent’s secret or not so secret dream), went on dream trips, remodelled homes and bought cottages. The divorced and widowed ones found new relationships and love again when they weren’t sure it would happen.
I have no idea what the next 10 years will hold for us, just as our parents had no idea what was in store for them. As I learned with my 30s, a lot can change in 10 years. We might be in a different place than our parents were when they turned 40, but I think a lot of the challenges and opportunities for us will be the same over the next decade. I also know there is no slowing down time.
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